Integral Love
© Dave Ferruolo

The separation of thought and action is said to be the downfall of Western society.  They cannot grasp the concept of yin and yang.  They either run in full steam with out any thought or regard for consequence, or they think themselves to death and never take action to create their world.

 When one commits, it must be fully with mind, body and spirit.  The lack of one of these components constitutes less than full awareness and creates dissonances and stress.  If one is not fully with them selves, they can never be fully with another.

 This aspect is true in all areas of life, including love.  If one loves fully with mind, body and spirit—it is fulfilling and lasting.  If one only loves with one or two of the integral parts of mind, body and spirit—again, conflict will arise.

 For example, if one only loves with the spirit, then the mind will be allowed to not be in the moment and not be in love.  If the mind can not decide if it is in love or is in fear of the deep spiritual love you have in your soul, then it will create confusion and conflict as to whether you are really in love or not.  The mind controls the body, so if the mind is not in love, the body will be unable to give of itself in love also.

 One can also love only with the body.  This creates gratification and sexual satisfaction.  The mind will always allow this, because it, well, feels good.  But the soul knows when love is not involved in intimacy, and will slowly turn the mind against the body.  Again, dissonance and stress will arise, facilitating the failure of the relationship. 

 If only the mind loves. It is from a place of false logic.  The mind can assume because someone is compatible, sexual and beautiful, that it must be in love, or it should love.  Again, false pretences of love only lead to failure and heartache. 

 True Divine love always fuels from the heart and soul.  The mind agrees and the body follows.  When mind, body and spirit can be partners in love—love will be able to survive and thrive.  This type of love is pure. This type of love is eternal.  But it is fear and past habits that keep the mind and body from following spirit into true love. 

 Fear-based thinking will always pull the mind and body out of love.  You will be able to feel love’s essence in your soul, but your mind will not allow you to follow through physically.  Fear is always the number one detriment to lasting love. The only way to combat this self-destructive thinking and salvage love is to enlist your mind to know that love is better than fear.

You must tell the mind and make it realizes that connection feels better than detachment; that closeness is superior to isolation, that togetherness trumps being alone.  When the mind begins to understand that being in love feels much better than being in fear, it will happily join the soul and allow the body to participate in a true and great love.

 This changing of the mind is a choice and a chore.  James Allen once commented that one must weed through the garden of the mind to find the flowers.  The mind can quickly be overtaken with negative, pessimistic thoughts that outweigh and out number the blossoming flowers.  We must be vigilant to weed through and weed out what thoughts do not serve us and replace them with empowering and true thoughts that resonate in our souls. 

 One must be courageous in life as well as in love.  Courage is not the absences of fear, it is the ability to face and accept fear and turn it into excitement and enthusiasm.  And when you are fully, with mind, body and spirit, passionate about love—love will blossom. True integration of mind, body and spirit love can’t be attained overnight.  What is part of the beauty of commitment is that each individual commits to his or her own spiritual work separately but together.  Learning to love and growing with each other in love, is truly an enlightening and forever bonding experience. 

 Don’t just ‘love’ someone with part of your being, be ‘in love’ with your entire essence.  This is true love; this is great love. And to be fully ‘in love’ with someone who is truly ‘in love’ with you is the greatest gift and the greatest freedom known.